See ya Later, Fear

The most exhilarating parts of my life coaching gig are also the most suffocating.

Read the following statement with giddy enthusiasm: Heck yeah, I don’t have a boss, deadlines or a rigid schedule!

Now read it with insecurity and fear, while wearing less-than-fresh sweatpants: I don’t have a boss, deadlines or a rigid schedule.

Can you feel the difference?

When I started my coaching business I was intentional about integrating my favorite elements from every job – teaching, counseling, traveling, speaking and building thoughtful relationships.

Most of the time it’s easy to give thanks for the new opportunities and success.

Then why do I experience big waves of fear?

For all of us, it boils down to four core fears:

  1. Not getting what we want

  2. Losing what we have

  3. Other people’s opinions

  4. Being “found out”

At different times I dip my toe in all of those scary fear-infested waters.

I wonder, what if no one comes to my event? Or, worse- what if bus loads of people show up and my presentation is lousy? What if I’m an imposter and I’ve just been lucky?

Ugh. I better start scanning the Classifieds!

Then some close friend or mentor will ask me THE MOST ANNOYING QUESTION.

“Emily, if you were your client, what feedback would you share?”

I cringe and roll my eyes in one fluid movement. Then I imagine a coaching session with me.

I’d tell myself to lean on my faith, practice gratitude, really look at how far I’ve come, focus on the solutions not the problems, and to try something new. I’d say,

“Self, fear doesn’t mean you can’t, it only means you haven’t.”

Then I’d research an idea, initiate a new project, or lead a workshop in an unfamiliar place. I’ve been blessed with a short attention span, so I can redirect my focus quickly and generate enthusiasm for a new plan in no time!

Want to crush YOUR fears?

Give fear new meaning.

Notice your fears without judging them. Understand that twinges of fear are signs of growth. Fear signifies that you are on the growing edge of what you’ve know. Then, take the risk!

There is no failure, it is all feedback.

You want to spend your time and talents on whatever brings you joy. In your job, make sure those 40 hours a week are dedicated to tasks that give you passion, meaning and purpose! In life, make sure you’re creating beautiful relationships and having wonderful experiences! It sounds so dreamy, doesn’t it?

You are worthy.

From your very core, you are brilliance and clarity. Celebrations and challenges will come and go. We are all much greater than the conditions and circumstances that surround us. In the words of Pema Chodron,

“You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.”

Meanwhile, I will look at my big picture and continue to do the work I was called to do – the coaching gig I created, nurture and love – where I get to connect with YOU.

Amy Fukuizumi